


Who I Am and Who I'm Not

by Rivulet027



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Ray Palmer, Confessions, Established Relationship, Hurt Ray Palmer, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Ray Palmer, Protective Mick Rory, Season/Series 04, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 12:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18810745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: S4. Ray attempts to recover after Neron.





	Who I Am and Who I'm Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wearestardust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearestardust/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with DC.

Ray wakes up in the medbay. Every part of him hurts, but there’s a relief in that. He can feel every part of himself. Neron isn’t controlling him anymore, not even just his hand. He wets his lips, and pushes himself to open his eyes. Did they win? What did it cost?

Mick is the only one in the room. He gives Ray a long concerned look. Then his eyes raise up like he’s noticing something again and he reaches near Ray’s head before he brings a cup with a straw in it where Ray can see it.

Ray tries to wet his lips again, suddenly realizing how thirsty he is. He tries to speak and finds he can’t get the words out. Mick holds up the water for him. Ray clears his throat and managed to croak out, “Nate?”

Mick sighs, a frustrated exhale of air.

Ray tries to sit up in alarm. Mick stands and put a hand on his chest, easing him back down as he points out, “Neron couldn’t hurt him.”

“He didn’t? He was going to kill him.”

“That was your deal with him,” Mick reminds before holding out the cup again. Ray tries to take it, but every part of him hurts and feels weak. His hand manages to close around the cup, but then his hand tremors in the effort to bring it close. Mick’s hands close over his, helping to keep the cup steady as they both bring it up. Mick shifts the straw so Ray can reach it. He takes a drink grateful. Mick pushes him to drink the whole glass of water, telling him, “Gideon said you need it.”

Ray doesn’t know what to do with how tired he is. He tries to stay awake, staring at Mick blearily, wanting to know what happened, but afraid to ask who they lost. Mick huffs out another frustrated breath. 

“Who…” Ray starts. He closes his eyes a moment trying to force himself awake to ask what he needs to know, but also because the words feel so weighted. Everything is sluggish and difficult.

“Neron and Tabitha,” Mick tells him. “Some of their minions.”

“What?”

“Died.”

“We won?”

Mick nods. Ray’s eyes sweep across the room. Where is everyone? Is Mick lying to him? Mick’s hand runs into his hair and Ray relaxes, remembering Mick helping him fix his hair after rescuing him from the Cretaceous period. “They’re sleeping. We’re taking turns.”

Ray feels the exhalation of relief run through him. “We didn’t lose anyone?”

Mick shakes his head.

Ray wets his lips. “Nora?”

“With the weasel and the nerd making sure their seal is holding.”

Weasel is Constantine. Who else is Mick talking about? Ray’s eyes dart over Mick’s face trying to decipher what he just said. He takes another breath then asks, “Seal?”

Mick huffs, then glowers. “The thing to keep Neron and Tabitha in hell.”

“I don’t remember what happened,” Ray confesses in the wake of Mick’s frustration.

“I got the word right?”

Ray reaches for Mick and Mick catches his hand. Ray squeezes. “I don’t remember anything after I gave him control so he wouldn’t hurt Nate. He was going to kill him Mick and then he’d have won anyway and…Gary, he was going after Gary too. Neron he wanted Gary after he realized that Gary knew John.”

“You went to the nerd for help?” Mick sounds…Ray’s not actually sure how decipher how Mick sounds. It’s not a tone he’s heard before. Ray frowns, eyes darting over Mick's face again. What is he missing?

“I don’t understand,” Ray manages.

“Who do you want me to get?”

Ray scrabbles to keep Mick’s hand when he starts to pull away. “No, no. You’re…”

Mick steps close again, frowning at Ray.

“It’s me,” Ray tells him. “I’m muddled.”

“You didn’t tell Sara. You didn’t ask,” Mick breaks off to look away as if he’s not quite sure how to finish what he wants to say. Mick shakes his head, voice almost a whisper. “You didn’t ask me.”

“I tried to make an antidote and that didn’t work so I tried to get ahold of John,” Ray explains.

“I’d have come back,” Mick tells him. “Sara would’ve too. We weren’t too busy.”

Ray opens his mouth to protest, then shakes his head. “I tried to handle it on my own.”

“We’re a team. We’re partners.”

Mick hasn’t said they were partners in over a year and Ray knows he doesn’t quite get all the implications that Mick puts behind that word. Ray isn’t sure what to say. He squeezes Mick’s hand.

Micks huffs again and leans in, his lips brushing against Ray’s briefly. He’s pulling away before Ray can respond. Ray makes a noise of frustration.

“Took you years,” Mick points out. “to get me to accept it, that I wanted this team.”

“Family,” Ray tells him.

Mick’s lips quirk up before he points out. “Took you less than a year with the weasel. He threw himself into hell to save you.”

Ray’s breathe catches. Hell? Ray shakes his head. “I don’t…I don’t…”

Mick takes a slow breath, as if steadying himself, then admits gravely, “You’re more important than a book signing.”

“You went?”

Mick nods. Ray squeezes his hand.

“You’re more important,” Mick repeats.

Ray sighs managing to smile. He wants to say he’s okay, but every part of him still hurts, still feels heavy and he doesn’t remember how they won. “Tell me about it?”

Mick glowers.

“The signing, tell me about the signing,” Ray says. “Did your ruse with Charlie work?”

Mick grabs the chair again, siting near him. He tells Ray about how Mona botched Charlie and his con job, but how everything worked out in the end. Ray listens and drifts.

“Should get Mona to tell you everything. She had words. I’m better at writing things down,” Mick concludes.

“I’d rather be here with you.”

Mick nods his agreement. 

“I want,” Ray starts, then signs. “I need a nap.”

Gideon reassures him that this is normal after the spell Nora, John, and Gary did to get him back. His recovery is going to be slow. Ray thanks her.

“Kiss goodnight,” Ray asks.

Mick obliges, give him a slow and through kiss, before sitting back down. Ray drifts off as Mick takes his hand again.


End file.
